Taking a break from some fiction tonight t talk about what happened today… and to post a little about inner strength. Working nights is both a blessing and a curse. It gives my mind the chance to wander and be free and create create create! But it’s also quiet, and sometimes I don’t do too well with quiet, especially in light of the more recent events in my life.
The one notable exception is on Sunday nights when the security guards turn on one of the local radio stations and then go around to every room in the building to make sure that the speakers can be heard from. That always makes me giggle a bit.
Today we had a KONGA™ class in honour of Sarah. I was of two minds of going as I wasn’t sure I wanted to go because I’m working nights and I wanted to ensure I got enough sleep but apart of me REALLY wanted to go because it’s about SARAH dammit. It was hot in the house (the air con wasn’t working too well for some reason) and my sleep was very broken, so I was up in time to go. I took Ms 15 with me as well.
The music was pumping, the lights were bright. But stepping into the room where we were working out in, and seeing Sarah’s name in the block lit up letters was a bit of a shock and it gave me pause. And of course, the eyes started to water – I really didn’t expect it. My sister turned to look at me and she smiled slightly. “I didn’t expect it either.”
It was pretty to see her name all lit up there like that however. And being there with a plethora of ladies who were united to raise money for her babies was amazing. Despite Ms 15 forgetting to eat anything and almost passing out/getting sick, and my own lack of fitness (They may have been easy routines but I’m so out of shape it’s sad!) it was a good time! It was definitely worth getting up early for 🙂
And, we raised over 1200$ for those beautiful children! That right there was completely worth it as well… and Ms 15 won a raffle prize 🙂 Not bad at all in the end, not bad at all.
Thank you to Courtney of KONGA™ with Courts for arranging this and hosting it. Thank you to every one who came and spent time with us this afternoon – Sarah’s love and light that she shared freely with everyone continues to flourish and grow with the love that we now give back to her memory, to her children, and to each other.
I’ll end tonight with some song lyrics by the Offspring’s “Defy You”… I was listening to it in the car on the way home and it really hit a nerve, especially after seeing everyone there pushing through their emotional devastation to be the badasses we all are:
You may push me around
But you cannot win
You may throw me down
But I’ll rise again
The more you say
The more I defy you
So get out of my faceYou cannot stop us
You cannot bring us down
Never give up
We go on and on
You’ll never break us
Never bring us down
We are alive!All my will
All my strength
Rip it out
Start againThe wind blows
I’ll lean into the wind
My angle grows
I’ll use…The wind blows
I’ll lean into the wind
My angle grows
I’ll use it to win
The more you say
The more I defy you
So get out of my wayCan you leave it all behind?
Can you leave it all behind?
Cause you can’t go back
You can’t go back
THIS Cannot break us. THIS will NOT break us. We are stronger than THIS right here and right now. It hurts, it hurts so bad. Even still, even after the funeral and even after we’ve had the opportunity to say our goodbyes but this WILL NOT STOP US and today was the perfect example of that! We will continue to be the awesome people we are – not just for ourselves, but for Sarah’s babies, and for her Memory.
