I know that I said that this week would be greed but coming home n the bus tonight from work I felt Envy would make a better topic for this week. Please excuse any typos at the moment – I’m in the car on my way to the beach for a moonlight full moon ritual. :). It will be short for the time being and I will expand upon it later.
Valentines Day was such a terrible thing, she thought, watching as another coworker received flowers and chocolate from their loved one. It wasn’t that she didn’t have a loved one – she did! And he was one of the most amazing men that she knew… He we as kind and loving, strong and protective, and everything that she could ask for – except for the severe lack of romance.
She sighed again, feeling the stirring. Of the green eyed monster known as envy inside her chest. She wanted the roses and the chocolates and the sappy I love yous. It didn’t matter that she hated the holiday or that she thought it was over commercialized – she wanted what others had dammit!!!
She drummed her fingers against the desk, glancing first at her phone and then at her emails. She hadn’t gotten anything from him as of yet. She thought about sending him a sappy love letter, but decided against it… after all, he should be the one to make the move, right?
And so she sat there and stewed in her own envy. Another person received a large boquet of flowers and she groaned, hitting her head back against the desk.
“I hate this holiday!” she said silently to herself, closing her eyes in exasperation. Deep inside however, she burned. For a moment, she allowed herself the fantasy of taking all their flowers, their chocolates, their fancy cards and throwing them in the bin, or better yet, setting them alight in the kitchen. In her mind’s eye, she saw the roses begin to char and burn, the petals turning from their glorious deep red to blackened char under the flickering flames. The smell of burnt chocolate almost filled her nostrils as she continued her little day dream, a smile playing upon her lips as she watched the tokens of affection burn in her fantasy.
The images of burnt love faded from her mind, and she envisioned faceless men entering the building and taking the tokens of love off the other women in the office, and telling them “That isn’t for you, there’s been a mistake!” and then giving her all their tokens of love and showering her with affection.
She never saw the great snake in the corners of her mind as he watched, a smile on his lipless face as she let her envy overtake her. Leviathan couldn’t wait to have this one in Hell… she would be perfect. So he watched, and waited, and cultivated her… encouraging her envy of others and her desire to have what they had. Someday… she would join him.