Tonight’s post is going to be about pride, but it’s going to be about taking a good hard look at myself and one of the things I’m pretty prideful about, and that’s World of Warcraft.
I’m a prideful bitch. I fully admit it, and if you ask someone who is heavily into the seven deadly sins, I’m probably going to hell in a handbasket, and not passing go along the way.
That’s fine, I don’t mind. I don’t even believe in Hell, or Satan, so it’s all good.
That being said, one of the things I’m the most proud of is my long and illustrious ‘career’ in World of Warcraft. I’ve been playing since August 2004, which is a whole three months before the game actually released (closed beta!!). One of the things I’m the most proud of is the fact that I have been what’s called a ‘hardcore raider’. This is someone who basically treats the game as a second (or in the case of me when I wasn’t working, a first) job and works their ass off to be the best.
I’ve been close to the top of my field in Wrath of the Lich King. I am a very good Elemental Shaman, and I’ve had the opportunity to play with other very good players, even earning a server first title kill for Yogg Saron with 0 keepers (Death’s Demise). It’s a feat that I’m still very proud of to this day.
Pride is a funny thing, however, I’m coming to realize. I’m also coming to realize that it’s a bit hard to talk about all the time – there’s only so many times you can talk about someone being proud of their accomplishments. But in my case, it’s a bit wonky. I need people to encourage me to speak up about myself in real life. I’m quite reserved, and I don’t brag about my accomplishments, and to some I probably don’t seem that proud about them. I am, especially in the past couple of years – I’ve done some incredibly brag-worthy things, from helping guide a business through a major IT upgrade (which essentially put me out of a job, hah) to helping raise $5000 for a worthy charity, to creating my own cookbook! These are items I am proud of.
But I don’t brag about them. Instead, I’ll gladly tell you all about my Elemental shaman, and how I’m one of the best I know! And how I am one of the top DPS in my guild, fighting back and forth with the Mage who is also a fantastic player (and my best friend, ironically). I will gladly tell you about Death’s Demise, and the mounts I have (especially the rare ones you can’t get in game anymore) and the pets I have. I’ll brag about my 15,365 achievement points that I’ve gotten for various things in the game, and I’ll tell you how stoked I am that I finally got my first in-game legendary, even if it’s the welfare legendary cloak. (I really should’ve gotten Tarecgosa last expansion pack, but I made what I think is the smart call and gave it to Beni instead.) I will tell you how I’ve been playing with the same group of players for almost four years, and how I’ve been GM of a great guild for those four years called Premature Heroism.
I realized tonight that this myriad of experience that I’m exceedingly proud of is almost… crippling in some ways. I’m less likely to listen to people in game, because in my eyes they don’t have the experiences I do and therefore their opinions matter less. I’m also more likely to think they’re full of shit and rage in officer chat about them. Do they actually know less than me? Not necessarily. Does it piss me off that they speak up? Yep, it sure does. I need to get over that.
It also pisses me off when I have to deal with less than stellar DPS in a raid. We had these guys tonight in raid who were terrible, our tanks were almost doubling their numbers in some cases. I mean, really, we’re getting to a point in game where we need to be the best we can be and people are still pulling shit numbers? GTFO my raid!!
I need to get over that too. In essence, I need to stop being such a prideful arrogant bitch when it comes to World of Warcraft. Yes, I’m a good player, but I’m certainly not the best and I’m performing at maybe half of what I used to perform at when I was jobless and able to be amazing. I need to realize that other players have voices and have thoughts and that they are allowed to vocalize them and their thoughts aren’t necessarily wrong either! After all, it’s just a fucking game, right? (You can check out my pretty awesome shaman and her Armory page here: http://us.battle.net/wow/en/character/khazgoroth/Katalyna/simple)